I recently went away on a trip. It was a voyage, not a relaxing vacation.  14 days, three flights, six different hotels.  The itinerary included visiting my kids at sleep away camp in North Carolina, horning in on my husband's business trip in Northern California & Southern Oregon, and vacationing in three other spots 

I needed to pack clothing for the heat wave, for hiking and biking, for the cool San Francisco weather and for looking presentable as the wife of a business executive while meeting tons of his colleagues in a convention-like setting.   How did I pack lightly for such a range of different types of climates and events? I DID NOT.  My suitcase weighed a ton. I have no advice as to how to cut down other than pack lots of black clothing.

However there are six things that I am really glad that I had packed as they really came in handy:

1. A travel hair dryer. I have long hair. Those little dryers that they provide in hotels just don't do it for me. I don't want frizzy hair in vacation photos so I purchased this little baby since my last one died on a cruise ship.  It is tiny but powerful. I got it at Bed Bath and Beyond for $29.99 (less one of those 20% off coupons), so it was a bargain. I was really happy that I had it.

Yes, I wear this silly eyemask, even on airplanes!

2. Earplugs and an eye mask.   Even if you are lucky to be sharing a hotel room with someone who does not snore, hotels can be noisy. Even if you are used to the noise in your own home, the new noises might prevent you from getting some shut eye. I always pack these cute pink earplugs that are made for women with dainty little ear holes like me. At least one part of me is dainty.

3. Lysol Wipes.  I'm not a germaphobe but there is nothing worse than getting sick while away from home. I always carry wipes when I travel. I wipe down the airplane seat, arm rests and tray tables before I settle in. I also wipe down any handle, knob, remote control and telephone in any hotel room before I do anything else.  It can't hurt.

4. A magnifying mirror with suction cups.  If you are of a certain age like me, your eyes are not as great at they were. While some hotels have magnifying mirrors, it is not a universal thing so  I throw a small one in my make up bag so that I don't end up walking around with eyeliner all over my face

5. Chargers, chargers, chargers. Every time we were in the room, my husband and I both needed to charge our phones, tablets and laptops.   I was happy that every device had an individual charger so we could charge everything at once. Remember, even if you are not talking or texting, these days you are probably using your phone as a GPS, Travel guide and camera when you travel. It all just eats those batteries up. 

6. Bonine/Dramamine & a small pharmacy. We were on some very scary mountain roads and a ferry.  I sometimes get motion sickness so popping a Bonine (which does not make me drowsy) was a brilliant idea for everyone, especially the rental car company.  I also traveled with small packets of benadryl, advil, bandaids, etc. My little emergency kit was small but mighty.  It is true that almost every place you go has a store where you can buy anything you might need, but in the middle of the night (or in the middle of a forrest), it was nice to be prepared.

My next post will contain six things that I did not really need during my trip...

Do you have any suggestions to add to my list of things to bring on a long trip?

Unless you've been on a media blackout, you've probably heard about the Ashley Madison scandal. Ashley Madison is a disgusting website where married people can find other married people to have affairs with. Ashley Madison promised their millions of customers (yes millions of them!) that this was a private thing. They even charged customers a fee to delete their accounts from their servers forever. We have now learned that this was not true. Hackers hacked in and released the names, addresses and other very personal information about their past and present customers including what kind of sexual adventures they were looking for. I warned my readers to tell their kids that nothing on the internet is private in March 2014 in my blog. Everything on here is stored somewhere forever! Even my silly ranting blog posts. Forever! Here is a repost of my March 2014 blog where I warned you..

Unless you've been on a media blackout, you've probably heard about the Ashley Madison scandal. Ashley Madison is a disgusting website where married people can find other married people to have affairs with. Ashley Madison promised their millions of customers (yes millions of them!) that this was a private thing. They even charged customers a fee to delete their accounts from their servers forever.  We have now learned that this was not true. Hackers hacked in and released the names, addresses and other very personal information about their past and present customers including what kind of sexual adventures they were looking for. I warned my readers to tell their kids that nothing on the internet is private in March 2014 in my blog.  Everything on here is stored somewhere forever!  Even my silly ranting blog posts. Forever! Here is a repost of my March 2014 blog where I warned you..

A Social Media Cautionary Tale...(originally posted in March 2014)

   Last week I wrote about my decision to keep my blog anonymous. However, just because you're "anonymous" or your settings on your social media sites are "private", does not mean that what you write might not get you in trouble one day.

   Without getting into a legal discussion, please know that whatever you post on the internet can be discovered if you're ever a party to a lawsuit. A judge is very likely to make you produce anything that you have posted to the internet, even if anonymous or "private".  This applies to what your family posts too.

  Recently, 69 year old Patrick Snay learned this the hard way.  Snay was the headmaster of a fancy prep school here in Miami but a few years ago, the school did not renew his contract and he sued for age discrimination. The school settled with him and agreed to pay $10,000 in back wages plus $80,000 for other damages and pay his attorneys fees. It was a win for him. The agreement contained a confidentiality clause prohibiting him from talking about the case.  These clauses are often standard in settlement agreements.

   Snay's daughter Dana was so excited about the results of her father's case, that she could not resist posting this to her 1200 Facebook friends immediately after it was agreed to.

“Mama and Papa Snay won the case against Gulliver.

Gulliver is now officially paying for my vacation to Europe this summer. SUCK IT.”

Supposedly this is a photo of Ms. Snay (source Yahoo! Shine)

   Besides making her parents so proud with her classy Facebook photo and post, she cost them $80,000. The school's  lawyers found out about the post within four days of the settlement and successfully asked the Court to invalidate the  agreement. The Florida appeals Court ruled that the settlement agreement was violated and that the school did not have to pay  the Principal.( The case can still be appealed to the Florida Supreme Court)

    You've probably seen the news stories about people posting their illegal acts online and it leading to problems for them ( example:  Miami Fraternity was suspended from campus after posting about drug dealing and hazing) and how posting about what you're doing can lead to people robbing you (example: woman's home was robbed after she posted that she was going out to see a concert. The burglars were her Facebook "friends" ) but did you know that it is possible that comments that you make on your blog or others can 
also get you in trouble?

   Courts have found that bloggers may have a free-speech right to write what they want to online but are not protected from being sued for their comments, even if posted anonymously!  If a Court finds that your online comments are defamatory, you could be liable for them. The legal line drawn is between "opinion" and "fact". If you call your ex-boyfriend a "liar or a loser", that is likely to be found to be an opinion and free speech. But if you write something like ,"Dr. Jones is the worst dentist. He overcharges people and performs work that does not really need to be done", it could be found to be defamatory. 

    So tread likely and think before you hit "enter". 

Another Life-Changing Tip courtesy of Japolina...

I think that this tip may be more life-changing than my COSTCO tip  that I posted a few weeks ago.

If you shop at Publix are you aware that you can order your sliced deli meats and subs ahead of time? You just download the app or go to Publix.com and  fill out the form as to what you want and it is waiting for you at the deli. You don't even have to ask for it, they have a spot where you just walk up and grab it.  This is life-changing to moms on the go and saves at least 5-10 minutes off of my weekly shopping trip.  

You can thank me with sliced cheese.

As a side note, when my children were infants, Publix tried a delivery service. You would just order online and they would deliver it within a two hour time frame that you chose. It saved my sanity during those early years. Publix stopped the service but how I wish they would start it up again! 

We are now those parents..

  I was having dinner with a bloggy friend of mine, Rachel of Silverunpolished.com , last week. I've known her since I was a million months pregnant with my first son. Her kids are 7 & 9. Mine are almost 15 & 17.  We have much in common in terms of mothering such as our agreement that sleepaway camp is mandatory and that toothpaste in the sink left by children is very annoying. However, we are worlds apart when it comes to how our kids feel about us.  Her cute boys love when she talks about them in her blog.

  On the other hand, my boys have reached the point where my husband and I are completely embarrassing to them. Not just in public but on the world wide web too.  I'm not allowed mention them in my Blog, Facebook, Instagram or Twitter posts. (They won't show me how to use snapchat) In fact, the mention of the toothpaste in the sink above may get me yelled at   after school today.

   A few days ago, at 5:45 a.m.,  my husband and I were goofing around while we were both making breakfast for the kids (yes high school starts disgustingly early around these parts). We had these funny tabasco things left over from a Houseparty.com Tabasco party that I was selected to host and we were just being silly.  I posted on Instagram because we look exhausted and ugly and stupid. 

Photo has been disguised to protect our children from further humiliation

   During the school day, I got this first text from one of my children   "I think that your instagram is inappropriate and that you should take it down"  I ignored as I do not think that texting this during school is appropriate either. 


   Later that day my other son explained that one of his friends was making fun of our instagram to all of their other friends. He was mortified that I had accepted a follow request from one of his friends and by our ridiculous photos. I responded by telling him that his friends were just jealous that his parents were so fun, especially at 5:45 a.m. I added that he was lucky that his parents even get up and make breakfast (and school lunches) at that ungodly hour. I'm certain that some other mothers don't even get out of bed and just let the kids fend for themselves. I also blocked the kid.

    When did we go from being cool to being totally embarrassing? Were we always totally embarrassing but the kids did not know it? We were ever cool? Thoughts? I'd love to hear them. 

My voyage on the largest Cruise Ship in the World...

     Life happens. As it turned out, my sweet husband and I had not been away alone for more than one or two nights in three years. Three years! I could not believe it.  We are approaching 20 years of marriage (23 together) and we needed to get away.  Luckily, the stars aligned this summer. He had vacation time and the boys had plans to be out of town (camp, teen tour) so I started to plan something.

    My husband has been flying a lot for business this year and he just wanted to hang out and relax. I had a tough year too, so relaxing and doing a lot of nothing seemed to fit the bill right now.  We did not want to break the bank (teenagers + summer = expensive). We looked into resorts in Florida and the Caribbean which were overpriced considering the fact that the summer weather here is either rainy and/or crazy humid & hot.  We decided to look at cruises.

     Living in South Florida means that we have been on a lot of cruises. They are easy for us. Just drive up and sail away.   I researched all cruises that were leaving out of South Florida during July.  I ended up waiting until the last minute to book  but was still lucky enough to get a great deal on Royal Caribbean's Allure of the Seas.

    I wondered,  "Could I have a romantic and relaxing vacation with my husband on a ship with over 6300 other passengers? "

     Yes, you read that right. During our sailing, there were 6311 passengers of all ages and from 71 different countries. The Allure of the Seas is the world's largest cruise ship. It is 220 feet high. It looks like a building when docked. We had sailed on Allure's sister ship, Oasis of the Seas with the kids and had a great time so we knew that the ship was nice but we were concerned that perhaps this giant floating resort might not be the most relaxing choice but we booked it anyway.

   Luckily our concerns were unfounded. Royal Caribbean has figured out a way to sail with all of those people and have so many different things going on that the ship never feels crowded. I am serious. They are able to load and unload all of those people, feed them, entertain them and house them and it seriously feels less crowded than on smaller ships with a third of the passengers!

    The Allure of the Seas is an amazing vessel. It is truly a five star resort at sea. It has an ice skating rink, two surfing machines (Flowriders), two rock climbing walls, a mini Atlantic City boardwalk complete with a carousel and 25 different places to eat onboard. The food choices range from hot dogs and burgers to full-out gourmet specialty restaurants including one with a menu from famed Miami Chef Michael Schwartz of Michael's Genuine. 

There is a mall in the middle of the ship which not only houses shopping venues, but also serves as an activity hub of bars, snacks and parades.  My favorite bar onboard (and I visited most of them) was the Rising Tide. This little bar is a ride. You get on it, get a drink and it rises two stories to Central Park. Central park is a garden in the middle of the ship which houses a Brito art Gallery and several food venues.

Rising tide bar!

   The entertainment onboard is not like the cruises of years past. Yes, they still have some of those funny passenger contests like Belly Flops and the Newlywed Game, but there is a dive show onboard that rivals anything that you will see in Vegas. There is a comedy club, a jazz club, a latin dance bar and more. Seriously, there was too much to do.

    

    Yes, we were able to relax. Our balcony cabin had delightful views all week. Even though we live in paradise, there is something magical about looking out at an open sea for a week.  We slept (a lot). We ate and drank (a lot). We relaxed. We hung out.  We were able to have the vacation that we wanted which was perfect.

    We were able to purchase a few hours of wifi onboard to check on the kids but were 99% unplugged all week. No texts, no calls, no internet. This is the bonus of cruising. It's amazing to realize how much time we spend with our phones, iPads and computers. It was really nice to sit through a dinner without a phone buzzing.

   After seven days, we felt relaxed and reconnected. As the summer winds down (school starts in less than two weeks!), I think that we made the right vacation choice.

 Diet cokes in Mexico have Spanish names!

A creative use for Bike Sharing….

   While other countries have been doing it for a while(there are 20,000 available bikes in Paris!), Bike Sharing is a relatively new concept popping up in cities across the US. It basically is the short term rental of a bike. The idea is to allow people to get from point "A" to point "B" without having to worry about owning or storing a bike.  In many cities, people use these systems to tour around a city or to get from a train or a bus to work. 

   I've been using Bike Sharing in a more creative fashion,  I use it as my workout tool. My bike sharing card is like my gym card.  For $45 a year, I can rent a bike for 30 minutes a day. If I go over the 30 minutes (which I usually do) it is another $1 per 1/2 hour.  Way cheaper than any workout classes or gyms around Miami for sure.   The place that I go is the Hollywood Beach. The bike path that I ride on is 7 miles round trip, next to the Atlantic Ocean, car-free  and most of it has the million dollar view like this shot taken at 7 a.m. this morning....

I love that I don't have to worry about maintaining a bike. I don't have to put a bike rack on my car to start to ride. I don't have to worry about my bike being stolen.  I just drive up and hop on.

When I started this over a year ago, I just rode without a plan. Now I use an iPhone ap called "Seconds Pro". It is a high intensity interval training program. In normal-person terms, it means that it plays different pre-determined songs and tells me when to go slow or fast. It is a suggested way of burning calories quickly and making your heart healthy. It is hard but fun. 

I am not a person who loves working out. It was always a chore for me. I've been riding for over a year now and  I wake up and  jump out of bed, excited to go at least three or four times a week. I ride with a smile on my face as the beach is always stunning and gorgeous. I get some good thinking done during my rides and get great exercise. I am cranky when I can't go. 

Bike sharing is super easy. The one that I use is called B-Cycle. They have an ap and you can see where there are available bikes near you.   I got the last one today...

I have a card so I just walk up and place it over the sensor. The green light goes on and I just pull the bike out and off I go!

The bike that I rent has a generous sized basket that fits my giant tote. No need to fanny-pack it!

Here is a shot of some additional bikes in the area.

This is the start of my 7 mile journey. 

 Here is the machine that you go up to if you don't have a membership.  It is $5 per half hour to rent a bike here. Not bad if you want to try it out or bring a friend. There are three or four stations in the area so you could drop off the bike at another part of the beach if you are just using it for transportation.

It takes about one minute to check out a bike if you're not a member. Just swipe your card and you're good to go.  You can only check out two bikes per credit card so if you are taking the whole crew, bring more than one card!

 

Also, helmets are not provided so you should really bring your own. Especially if you are traveling in areas where there is traffic.  

 

Private Browsing...

   Sometimes it really pays to live with teenagers. While searching for travel ideas on the internet, my son told me that I should turn on "private browsing".  HUH?? What the heck is private browsing, I thought.  

   My son explained to me that when you search the internet, third parties can track you and see what you are looking at to track buying patterns, etc.  For example, if you go onto "IwantToRunAwayToTahiti.com" every day to check prices for your escape, they know that you really want to go and may not lower prices for you.  If I log on just for fun, they may quote you a different price.

   I really did not believe that this was actually true. It seems so unfair. I compared it to me going to Target three times a week and paying one price and my husband going in only once a year and getting a better price. That is insane.

   Unfortunately my son was right, at least in the case of American Airlines.  I was searching for fares for an upcoming trip.  I searched the same exact trip a few times before booking it.  The fare was  $686 with fees, taxes etc. I booked the ticket but put it on a courtesy 24 hour hold.  I then searched it in private browsing. The fare for the exact same trip (same day, time, flight & seat)  was $654. That is a 5% difference.   SERIOUSLY??? This seems illegal, but I guess it is not.
  
    Different browsers have different ways of turning on "private browsing" so good how to do it. On my mac, I use safari and you just go click on the drop down menu for "Safari" and  click "Private Browsing"

    I'm going to try this again and see what other variations that I can find. Has this ever happened to you? I'd love to hear other stories of this.

A Social Media Cautionary Tale...

   Last week I wrote about my decision to keep my blog anonymous. However, just because you're "anonymous" or your settings on your social media sites are "private", does not mean that what you write might not get you in trouble one day.

   Without getting into a legal discussion, please know that whatever you post on the internet can be discovered if you're ever a party to a lawsuit. A judge is very likely to make you produce anything that you have posted to the internet, even if anonymous or "private".  This applies to what your family posts too.

  Recently, 69 year old Patrick Snay learned this the hard way.  Snay was the headmaster of a fancy prep school here in Miami but a few years ago, the school did not renew his contract and he sued for age discrimination. The school settled with him and agreed to pay $10,000 in back wages plus $80,000 for other damages and pay his attorneys fees. It was a win for him. The agreement contained a confidentiality clause prohibiting him from talking about the case.  These clauses are often standard in settlement agreements.

   Snay's daughter Dana was so excited about the results of her father's case, that she could not resist posting this to her 1200 Facebook friends immediately after it was agreed to.

“Mama and Papa Snay won the case against Gulliver.

Gulliver is now officially paying for my vacation to Europe this summer. SUCK IT.”

Supposedly this is a photo of Ms. Snay (source Yahoo! Shine)

   Besides making her parents so proud with her classy Facebook photo and post, she cost them $80,000. The school's  lawyers found out about the post within four days of the settlement and successfully asked the Court to invalidate the  agreement. The Florida appeals Court ruled that the settlement agreement was violated and that the school did not have to pay  the Principal.( The case can still be appealed to the Florida Supreme Court)

    You've probably seen the news stories about people posting their illegal acts online and it leading to problems for them ( example:  Miami Fraternity was suspended from campus after posting about drug dealing and hazing) and how posting about what you're doing can lead to people robbing you (example: woman's home was robbed after she posted that she was going out to see a concert. The burglars were her Facebook "friends" ) but did you know that it is possible that comments that you make on your blog or others can 
also get you in trouble?

   Courts have found that bloggers may have a free-speech right to write what they want to online but are not protected from being sued for their comments, even if posted anonymously!  If a Court finds that your online comments are defamatory, you could be liable for them. The legal line drawn is between "opinion" and "fact". If you call your ex-boyfriend a "liar or a loser", that is likely to be found to be an opinion and free speech. But if you write something like ,"Dr. Jones is the worst dentist. He overcharges people and performs work that does not really need to be done", it could be found to be defamatory. 

    So tread likely and think before you hit "enter". 

     

Blogger Advice

     I was surprised and delighted by all of your comments on last week's post "Why I Blog" . Compared to most of you, I'm a baby blogger.  I'm still a work in progress and love all input from my readers! 

    I know about 15 people who have recently started blogging. I've "come out" to them, even though I'm "anonymous" because I feel like it always helps to have someone that you know in the same boat as you.  Some of their blogs are amazing, some not so much.  

Here is my number 1 tip for any new blogger:

Read other blogs (and comment on them). No one ever became successful at their chosen art without studying the masters who came before them. Furthermore, if you comment on other people's blogs, they are likely to pop over and view your blog.  This is the only thing that I have done to grow my readership and my blogger circle. I'm learning what makes an interesting post by the number of hits and comments each one gets.  I read every comment and try to email a response back to every single one. I learned that trick from one of my favorite bloggers (Thanks Diana!)

As I said before, I'm a newbie so what do I know? So my request to you is to tell me today: 

If you had one piece of advice for a new blogger, what would it be??

TV can be good for kids...

    The day after 9 /11 my morning ritual changed forever. Since that horrible morning, immediately upon waking up, I turn on the Today Show.  I need to know that the world has not exploded before I start my day.  Before I leave my room and go down to get breakfast and school lunches made or do anything else, I see what is going on in the world. Maybe it is my "Mama Bear" instinct kicking in, making sure there are no hunters on the prowl in my neighborhood. Maybe Matt Lauer is comforting in some weird way.  Maybe it  is something else. I don't know, but since 2001, the Today Show is always on in my room in the morning. 

    My two sons were tiny when America was under attack. The eldest was only three and my little one a little over a year old but since that time, when they have come in my room to snuggle or just hang out in Mom and Dad's big comfy bed, they have been exposed to the morning news.  Sure I've turned it off at times, but they have grown used to the ritual and have grown up getting at least a glimpse of what is going on in the world.  Over the years, they sometimes asked questions. After school shootings or tragedies like the Boston Marathon Bombing, we have frank discussions. I want to make sure that they know that, while bad things happen in the world, they can't live their lives in fear. 

      I make sure that when any stories involving  drug use, bullying, texting while driving and other issues that apply directly to teenagers, that the volume is turned way up. In fact, the mantra "anything you place on the internet never, ever goes away, so don't put anything stupid online" is repeated in this house quite often. (by me). 

       Sure, I've read and heard the studies and recommendations that kids should not watch television. I'm certain that some of you readers may judge me and think that I should have shielded my children from the horrors that the morning news headlines often describe.  However,  my 15 year old son  is starting to realize that many of his classmates have absolutely no knowledge about the world other than Sports or Entertainment.  He is in all gifted, honors and Advanced Placement classes in a very good, large public high school so his peers have high IQ's, come from economically advantaged homes and get very good grades. They are the cream of the crop so it absolutely amazes me when he tells me some of the stories from his day.

       One of the teachers asked what the UN stands for and half the class had no idea.  Another day,  she asked who the Vice-President of the United States is and barely anyone knew. One of his friends who is usually a straight A student had no idea what the electoral college is, who our state Governor was and could not locate Mexico on a map.  

     My son feels that he has knowledge of current events due to the Today Show always being on in my room and I agree. He now reads the news on his phone or computer on a daily basis (He has to leave for school before the Today Show starts!). He is on the way to becoming a good World citizen and sounds pretty intelligent when discussing current events these days. 

       The point of this post was not to brag about how amazing my kids are (They are but I'm no bragger). My point is that sheltering your kids too much, may be just as harmful as not sheltering them enough.   I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't always listen to the child rearing "experts".

A non-scientific experiment about the common cold...

First of all, I am not getting paid or free stuff or anything for this post but I feel it is my duty to advise my readers of the results of my not-so-scientific experiment over the weekend.

My husband started sneezing on Saturday morning. We were not sure if it was a cold.  By Saturday night, he was down for the count. Sneezing, runny nose, complaining,etc etc.  He did the usual soup, over the counter meds, sleeping thing.

The rest of us resorted to avoiding him, washing hands a lot and using lysol liberally.   He was miserable Sunday and Monday too.  On Monday morning I felt it coming on.  My sister mentioned that she had used the Zicam melting lozenges and felt they had helped her.  As soon as I felt the congestion, I bolted over to the drug store and picked up a pack. 

I started dissolving one of these tablets in my mouth every three hours.  As the day progressed I rapidly developed a full blown cold. I was miserable and going through hundreds of tissues. I still kept taking the rapidmelts. Thanks to Pinterest, I made a little cold-craft …(Empty tissue box taped to new one provides a handy little garbage bin)

The next morning I woke up cold-free. I took the pills all throughout the day anyway and I am cured!!! My husband is still at the tail end of his cold


Was it the Zicam or coincidence? Who knows but if you feel a cold coming on, it may be worth a try. The box was about eight dollars and I did not take them all during this "pre-cold"


BTW, it is 48 degrees here in Miami. Where did I put my gloves that allow me to text???

Once again, I did not get paid to write this post. I bought the zicam (and the Kleenex) with my own money.

R.I.P. Loehmann's...

If you are a Jewish female like me, chances are you were raised going into the communal dressing room at a Loehmann's Store. 

Loehmann's was the place I bought my first suit for my first day working at a law firm.   Loehmann's was where I  bought a whole sweater wardrobe for my honeymoon. Loehmman's was the place that I would go to buy designer dresses for parties at discount prices while getting the honest opinions of half-naked old ladies trying on sportswear. (They never lied).

Over the years,  I spent (and saved) plenty of money there buying really good luxury shoes, handbags and clothing. It was never easy (you really had to pick through the racks) but most of the time the work paid off and great bargains were had.

Loehmann's is going out of business forever.  According to The Wall Street Journal, The store is closing its 39 U.S. stores after unsuccessfully finding a buyer. They were in business since 1921.
They cited stiff competition from big discounters like Marshall's/TJ Maxx and outlet malls. I guess there is only so much actual discount designer supply to go around. 

I won't be heading over there for their going out of business sale. I hate those kinds of sales, they always seem depressing to me. People picking through the bones of a now dead store while workers who are about to lose their jobs are supposed be friendly and helpful.

You  won't see my tears because I'll be wearing my Tory Burch Sunglasses that I snagged at Loehmann's for $34.99 (retail price $200)! 

R.I.P. Loehmann's! 

The types of friends that you need...

If you are a mom of kids that live under your roof, you need some specific types friends in your stable at all times.  These friends are similar to the types of friends that you had as a kid (i.e.The friend with the fun house, the friend who helps with homework, the friend you makes you laugh until you pee in your sleeping bag).  As a Mom, it really does take a village to raise a child and even if you have a great partner in crime  spouse, it helps to have back up. 

Luckily, when you are a mom, it is pretty easy to make friends as you instantly have something in common, kids! Friends often come in and out of one's life, so you should make sure that you always have these five friends in your regular life at any given point.  

1. The Mom in the same boat as you 

You may have met her while waiting in your OB's office,  at Mommy & Me class or during orientation for High School. This is the easiest friend to find and make.  You may only have one kid the same age in common but you're comrades in arms. The two of you should be able to bitch and moan about whatever is going on whether it be how to get rid of the pacifier to the best teen acne treatments ad nauseum.  It helps if her kids are in the same school as yours, but not a pre-requisite. This friend is the one who does not miss a beat when you tell her your parenting horror stories. She will swoop in to pick up your child from school at the last minute because you are having a hairdresser emergency without judgement.

2. The Mom who is one step ahead of you

This is the Mom who has a kid one or two years ahead of yours.  No more than that.  She is the one who tells you which teachers to avoid. She assure you that the biting phase in pre-school will soon pass.  She is almost in the same boat as you so she can relate to your potty training or SAT tutor woes without being so far removed as to not recall how stressful they are at the time. 

3. The Mom who knows everything 

Ask what the spelling words are and they will be texted to you in moments. Ask where to find sparkly red ballet flats, she will tell you exactly which Target to go to and what aisle they will be found in. Ask for an impressive recipe to have your husband take to the office holiday potluck lunch, she'll walk you through it step by step.   She is different from a "know it all" Mom. She is helpful, not condescending.

4. A Mom who is about a decade ahead of you

This is the most elusive type of Mom friend. She may actually be your sister, sister-in-law or a neighbor. She's survived whatever is going on in your house whether it be weaning the child of the bottle, shipping the kids off to camp or getting a kid into college. She may forget how stressful introducing new foods can be but she is proof that everything will work out.  

5. A Mom who is crazier than you

Not to judge but we all know the Mom who let's her toddler stay up until 12, feeds her kids crap all of the time or worse. I'm not talking about child abusers (don't be friends with them!) but the type of Mom who ships her trunks to summer camp late or  never shows up to the school open houses.   Maybe she does not know better. Maybe she does not care. Maybe she just cannot get her act together.   She is not a "bad mommy" but just kooky. This type of Mom definitely makes you feel better when you are having Mom guilt.

 In my next blog, I'll advise you of the types of Mom friends you don't need in the meantime, what types of Mom friends should be added to my list? Please let me know as I adore comments...

I went to the Movies (American Hustle Review)

Before I had kids, I would see every single movie that was out.  Now I am very, very picky. I just don't have hours of my life to waste seeing bad movies.

I was so happy that I went to see American Hustle this week.

American Hustle is loosely based on the Abscam Scandal  of the 70's but the movie is really about characters played by the unrecognizable Bradley Cooper (with a perm), Christian Bale (fat and bald), Jeremy Renner (with a toupee) and fabulous Amy Adams and Jennifer Lawrence rocking over-the top  70's hair and wardrobe.

The writing and acting is great. I was throughly entertained for all 138 minutes.

I'd highly recommend it. It is funny and serious and smart. If you liked Argo, you'll love it.

The last post...

The last post of 2013 that is! 

First of all, thanks to all of my readers. I know that there are a lot of you out there that read but don't comment and I appreciate the clicking over almost as much as I appreciate the commenters.  

Tonight will be spent with my three main men. This is the very first New Years that we are all spending it together. Every single year, my parents host a New Year's Eve party for the grandkids where the soda and junk food flow freely. 

This year, my kids feel that they are too big. They were trying to make plans with friends but somehow that does not seem likely to happen so the four of us are going to do something together.  My sister warned that this may be the last New Year's Eve that my teens actually want to spend with their parents. Ever. :(  I'm going to try to enjoy every single moment.


2013 has been a really good year for my family. I have high hopes for this year to be even better.

I hope that every one of you that reads this has a happy and healthy 2014!

Today, my son  and I ran out to Mojo Donuts. It is far away (thank g-d) and we picked up some deliciousness before they sold out.  These were supposed to be for tonight's dessert.  Guess how many are left?

Cheers!

Kids Stuff to Keep...

My sister insists that I give very good helpful advice and suggested that I should blog some of my words of wisdom. I'm not sure that I agree with her but here goes…

At the end of the year, full of food and fun, I always find myself in a purging mood (not bulimic) but purging of the closets etc.  I think it is the mental part of out with the old and in with the new that sends my car full of stuff to goodwill at least two to three times between Christmas and New Years.

There is a fine line between a border and a smart, thrifty homemaker and throwing vs. keeping is the distinction.

Today's post is about Kid's Stuff.


 When you have little kids, there is an overabundance of stuff. Toys, clothes, supplies, etc.  It gets overwhelming. It gets messy. HOWEVER, it is expensive to replace.  You can look forward to  the fact that even though teenagers are moody, their stuff is much smaller and does not require a whole playroom to keep it in check.

 KIDS CLOTHING: 

• If you are thinking of adding more kids to your brood, save anything unstained. You'll need as much money to keep the older siblings occupied while you eat up a new baby.

•  If you are 100% certain that you are done having children, pass most of it on. Give it to charity, a school,  a homeless shelter, a neighbor or a friend.   Saving every little sock and tiny hat seems darling and sentimental , but it is really hoarding.   

• Save the outfit he or she came home from the hospital or a couple of other little pieces that you remember something special about but seriously, unless it is a family heirloom, no one is going to want your carter's onesies in 30 years.

•  If items were super expensive or fabulous, consider selling them on eBay or at a consignment place.   Then you can buy more cute stuff with the cash.

TOYS: 

• If something is great but the kids are bored with it, stash away for a raining day. My middle school kids were still pulling out the magnet toys, legos and board games up until they got laptops and iPads. Then we turned the playroom into a man cave.

• If it is loud and annoying, eats up batteries or makes the kids nuts in a bad way, give to goodwill (Schools don't want them either). All of those carnival type stuffed animals, party favors, etc should go in the goodwill bag in the trunk of your car or outside garbage can as soon as your kids are not looking. They tend to multiply and are really not enjoyed for more than the first five minutes that they are in a child's hand.   

• EXCEPTION: save that special teddy bear or cool toy that will stand the test of time . I'm talking one or two sentimental things per child (not a closet full) 

•  NOTE: If your children have any tendency to hoard, do not involve them in the purging of the toys. Teach them charity in another way. My kids do not want to give or throw anything away. In fact, when cleaning out their room, if they are asked about any item, even a pencil, they become instantly re-enamored with it and cannot agree to part with it.  They stop caring about the orphan that will use that lint-covered pencil to become a nobel prize winner. They will fight with you for an hour over that thing that they forgot ever existed.  Get the stuff out of the house when they are not looking and put it in your car for later distribution. 

BABY GEAR:

• If it is in good condition and you are thinking of having more kids, store it. If your high chair or stroller are gunky and dirty, pitch them. You're going to want the latest and greatest anyway, so pitch them or send them to Grandma's house. My mom and mother in law both had strollers, cribs, pack n'plays etc at their houses which always cut down on the amount of crap that I had to haul there when dumping them off there dropping them off for a visit.

• If the gear-ish item really never got used with the first baby (wiper warmer, diaper genie, etc), I can guarantee that you will not use it with the second.    The stuff you should get rid of would be the parent convenience types of things. If you did not have the patience to use them with the first baby or two, you definitely won't with the next kiddo. The exceptions would be items like swings, bouncy seats. One of my babies loved all of those things and the other hated them

KIDS ARTWORK: 

• One of my girlfriends has a storage unit full of every single item that her child produced. I'm not just talking about artwork, but every single test, book report, etc.   She obviously has issues but anything more than a small tote of your child's work seems like overkill to me.   Save the especially cute  or meaningful pieces  (I have a piece framed in my room from pre-school!) but every scribble is going to dilute and clutter it up.   

• Trust me, your children are not going want any of it when they have their own homes.  My Dad texted me a photo of the plaque that my sorority big sister made me when I pledged in 1985 that he found the day after Christmas. I forgot that it ever existed. If I saw it at a flea market, I would have never recognized it. I did not want it. It was taking up space in their closet for almost 30 years! Here it is...
  

• The exception would be if your child is destined to be the next Romero Brito, Pablo Picasso, etc.  If little Johnny is a phenom, you may want to save his finger paintings because they will be worth some serious bucks someday at Christies. Otherwise, display for a while and then pitch most of it. 

• HOWEVER, don't let your kids see you throwing it away as you may need to pay for therapy later on.

ART SUPPLIES:

• This is where I err on the side of hoarding.  Even though my youngest is an uncrafty boy  in 8th grade, we are still doing those horrible class projects on a regular basis.    The projects always require lots of supplies so Avoiding a trip to Michaels is like adding $50 to my IRA. In fact, I always stock up on school and art supplies when I see a good deal (such as after the start of school). I have a whole (small) closet dedicated to art and office supplies.

COSTUMES:

•  Make a costume box.  Put hats and other dress up stuff in there.  I'm not kidding.  If you don't and you are trying to put together a Christopher Columbus Costume in May (long before and after any store has Halloween supplies) you will thank me.  You would think that this would have ended for me by now, but Cinco De Mayo, Black History Month, Hispanic Heritage Month, Famous Book Character Month, etc etc are still alive and well in Middle School and Homecoming Spirit week is still a big thing in High School. Once again, the money saved by having to pay to  Fed Ex an Albert Einstein wig to make sure that your son gets the "A" will help you when you retire (or buy a really nice bottle of wine to deal with the stress of these stupid projects)

What are your hints for throwing vs. keeping kid's stuff? I'd love to hear them.

My computer's visit to the Hospital...

My computer was in the Apple Hospital.  I was without my beloved desktop for three days. It was torture.  My iPad will never replace my giant desktop.

I bought my iMac exactly 3 years ago come December 27th. It was expensive. Probably 2 or 3 times more than a non-apple computer would have been.   I was smart enough to fork over even more money for "applecare" (I think it was $169 but don't quote me). 

Applecare extends the customer support and warranty on the computer for  another 2 years on top of the first year. During the three years that I have had my precious, I had to lug it in one other time as there was a wifi issue and they replaced whatever in the computer makes it talk to the wifi modem (You can tell I'm really technically savvy).  I also called the nice Apple phone people several times and they were always able to help. They are located in the US and don't tell you to turn on and off the computer ten times and then say that they can't help like PC support had done to me in the past.

The Apple Store is about 5 minutes from my house which is a plus as I had to schlep my big baby in this week as everything was sluggish and they couldn't diagnose it over the phone. This computer is big, bulky and heavy. Luckily I brought it into the store before my warranty expired because when the sweet genius Cory plugged it into a little gadget and ran a test, a huge red banner went across the screen saying "FAILED". They replaced the entire harddrive and because I had AppleCare, it was all FREE! They had the computer for three long days but it is good as new now!

When I purchased this computer I also bought an external hard drive for about $100 at Costco. Using the apple program called Time Machine, it automatically backs up my entire computer on a regular basis. When I got home from apple, I plugged in the external hard drive and clicked enter and within 3 hours, my entire desktop was restored. Exactly how it was before! If you did not know that the hard drive was replaced, you wouldn't have noticed one difference.


I love a bargain more than anyone but I would never buy a PC ever again. Apple is worth the extra money when it comes to computers!