Snag a Husband as fast as you can?

Saturday, April 6, 2013

This photo has nothing to do with the topic of my blog today. I snapped during my walk on the beach this am and was more interesting that any photo that I could come up with for my topic! 
Princeton University Alumna Susan Patton is urging current female students of her alma matter to find a husband on campus before they graduate.  Patton, who graduated in 1977, wrote a letter to the campus newspaper trying to remind women on campus that their male counterparts are smart, ivy league men who are going to leave campus and marry women in the outside world who are young and less intelligent than Princeton Students. 

You can read the entire letter here, but in summary, her advice to the daughters that she never had is that in addition to the MBA or whatever degree they are seeking, they should also seek an MRS degree while still in the ivy league environment. "you will never again be surround by the concentration of men who are worthy of you".

Her reasoning is that there is a very limited population of men who are as smart or smarter than the Princeton female students.  She goes on to state that men have a much more unlimited stock of women to choose from and many men marry beneath them in terms of intelligence or education, especially if the woman is pretty.  In addition, men don't have the biological constraints in terms of find a mate to have children with.

I heard Patton speak on a radio show this morning and while I want to hate her advice (especially because it seems so snobby and because she has sons), it is quite practical if you really think about it.

I goofed around all during my college days. I went to a great Univesity but it was not Ivy Leaque. The boys that I met and dated were not serious, nor was I. I wanted to have fun. I wanted to experience life. I wanted to go to law school so I did not even think about snagging a husband during those days.

When my sorority sisters would announce their engagements, in the surprise, secret, dramatic ways that sororities do this, I was never jealous. In fact, it seemed ridiculous to me. We were too young. We had stuff to do. Through Facebook, I've kept in touch with many of these girls and just about all of them who got engaged during undergrad are now in their mid 40's and divorced.

I will say, however, that once I went to Law School, I looked around and was amazed but the plethora of single, smart, soon-to-be successful men. I really enjoy hanging out with smart people so I loved this.  I started to think, wow, if you want to be a lawyer's wife, this is the place to be. I even thought that I should write to the editor of Cosmopolitan magazine and suggest Law School to women looking for a rich (or soon to be) husband.  

I was in Law School to snag a law degree and not a husband.  I began to think that a lawyer -lawyer marriage might involve a lot of arguing as this is what lawyers are trained to do and the fellow students were not as attractive as I first thought once I spent a million hours with them. 

 I did happen to meet my husband during law school. He was the non-lawyer friend of some fellow students.  

As the mother of two teenaged sons, I don't know if I would be terribly excited for them to  ge
t married in their early 20's.  I think that the craziness of one's 20's is best acted out at the time rather than squeeze out later when they are middle aged.  But as we all know, I barely have any control at this point. I'm sure that they won't care what I think by then.

What do you think of Susan Patton's advice? I'd love to hear your opinions.


Susie said...

Japolina, I find it so unreal to think someone can make themselves love someone, just because they are rich or smart or both. I love intelligent men, but a great sense of humor helps so much. A woman should make her own life..not look to a man to make her happy. Old Dr. Phil says if you marry for money, you'll have to earn every penny of it. You are right ,let the 20's be for having some fun, and getting one's self on track.xoxo,Susie

Empress Bee (of the high sea) said...

well when i first heard this on tv i thought wow, that's a load of krap but when i actually thought it through it makes a kind of sense. that is not to say that is why a woman should go to a certain school but once she gets out of there her choices are much fewer. i don;t know really what to think - i could go either way. wishy-washy? yup.

smiles, bee

NanaDiana said...

I don't know how I feel about it. On one hand it makes sense as you will be likely to pair with someone that has a similar background and core values...but on the other hand it seems kind of an elitist thing to do. My daughter went to a private Christian college and she was an outsider because she wasn't engaged the first year she was there...that was "the thing". She wasn't there husband hunting but many of the girls went there thinking they would be a future pastor and they were there to present themselves as promising future pastor's wives. lol I dunno---I think love will find you when you are ready but don't push for it just so you can get married. xo Diana

NanaDiana said...

That is they were there to MEET future pastors-not become one themselves...duh...

Mandy Southgate said...

Wow, that's kind of crazy. I mean, I get where she is coming from but I wasn't overly impressed by the guys who were at university with me. They were players with overly inflated opinions of themselves and they were my age so I thought they were boys really. I guess that's because I was doing what you're meant to do at university - having fun and yes, getting a degree. I think after all this time, I still just don't like sweeping bits of gender stereotypical advice like this!

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